Checking In While At Home

I had an AMAZING workout with a new trainer today in Liberty Lake. He's no Teri but I think I really like him. Worked really hard today during our session. It was tough but I could really tell a difference. I have more stamina & strength. Things are starting to really come together & be easier to do. I'm so glad I decided to get a trainer here. My new trainers name is Vincent. Meeting with him again tomorrow @ 7 am Thursday. Looking forward to it. Getting so excited to go back to the resort. Looking forward to kicking some booty when I get back. I'm really sore tonight. Had a dr.'s appt. this afternoon & according to her scale I've lost another 2 pounds since Saturday. I shall see on Sunday. But if that's the case, YAY!!!! Me. I will take it.

What's Happening At Home?

First day home. Woke up @ 5:30 this morning & laid in bed until 6:00 . Couldn't eat anything until later because I had 2 go have some fasting blood work done. Didn't eat until about 10 am. Busy day. Didn't get 2 the gym until about 2-230 so I only got 2 do the treadmill 4 an hour. Walked 3.38 miles & burned 574 calories. Having a lot of anxiety & stress about being home. I just don't think I'm ready to be here. Too much to think about & worry about. Am I eating the right foods, am I eating enough, am I working out enough or hard enough, etc. It's just all so overwhelming. I joined a gym today & will be meeting with a personal trainer tomorrow, Wednesday & Thursday mornings. Looking forward to that. I'm so excited, I changed my flight to come back to the resort on this Sunday instead of next Sunday. In doing so that gave me an opportunity to change my plans & make a side trio to Portland to spend the weekend with my best friend from jr. High school. She just moved to Oregon about 1-1/2 years ago & I've never been to her place. I'm really looking forward to seeing her & her kids. I've never met her new husband either. Will be a nice break. Really looking forward to getting back to the resort & kicking it into high gear.

Facing Fear

Today was a very emotional day for me. I have so many emotions going through my brain. I'm excited to go home and see my family but on the other hand I am terrified. It's all fear based. Fear of disappointment, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, the list could go on and on and on...... Didn't exercise much today. Took the time to continue to finish packing and taking it easy. I met with Essara, life coach here today. Cried during our session. We came up with some goals and strategies to help with the fear, etc. Was suppose to meet with Teri today and go over my program for home, but she wasn't feeling very well. Meeting with her tomorrow. I ended up going back to my room after my meeting with Essara and eating lunch and then taking a nap. Graduation was good. Hard but good.

The Small Successes

Hey family and friends. Sorry I haven't blogged in a few days. It's been CRAZY this week. I have had the most AMAZING week. To catch you up. Wednesday I got up and went and worked out before breakfast. Went on the hike again today. My group went to Backbone Ensinal(excuse the spelling). I haven't been on this hike yet so I was really nervous. Our guides, Stephanie and John decided that they wanted to go a different way to the top than usual so we did. Pretty much all up hill. It was difficult but not too difficult. The terrain was steep and very gully and uneven. We did AWESOME. On the way down from the top I decided that I needed to "up the antie" so to speak so I ran for a little sprint. It was on even ground this time. Then we get to this downhill part and I decided that I needed to run down the hill. So off I went. The incline of the downhill was such that as I was running I started going faster and faster because I couldn't stop. If I would have stopped I would have face planted it. It felt so good. I was so proud of myself. The hike are 2 1/2 hours long. We finished in an hour. So we decided to go the "normal" way. It was a lot easier. More gentle incline. We only went up part way and then headed back to the van to head back to the resort. AMAZING hike. Then we had mountain in the afternoon. I started out on the recumbent bike. About half way through class I decided to get on the treadmill. Then I decided to do Jacobs ladder. Tonia, one of the trainers that was teaching the class was so excited that I decided to do Jacobs ladder without being asked to do it had to video me on Jacobs ladder so we could send it to Teri. She was off today. After doing Jacobs ladder I got back on the bike and finished out the class until my last minute which I got back on Jacobs ladder. It was fantastic. Yesterday was another AMAZING day. TJ,our hiking manager decided to spread a rumor and texted Teri on Wednesday to let her know that I was running on the hike. So the bar had been raised yesterday. We trained again yesterday and boy did she work me out. I was dying by the end of our session. The last minute of training she decided to have me do a 1 minute sprint on the treadmill. I up'd the antie again. I Set it on 6.0. Teri was shocked. I did it though for a minute. Fastest I have done it yet. After our session I went and ate my lunch and then a group of us (4) and two of the trainers went up and played Tennis for 45 minutes. It was so much fun. We just hit the ball around. Didn't really follow any rules or anything. After that was treading. Great class. I started feeling really sick and feeling like I was going to throw up and my stomach started hurting really bad towards the end of treading so after treading I went back to my room and rested until dinner. I had a chiropractor appt. at 6:00. I will try to write more tonight about today.

Upping the Anti

Hey everyone. This is going to be short tonight. I am totally exhausted. I have had the best two days here in probably the whole time I have been here. I have pushed myself beyond my comfort zone. I broke 2 records today. I did 2 Cardio Interval classes today. At the beginning of this week I had made a goal with Teri and that was that I wanted to run on the treadmill @ 5.5 for 1 minutes. Well, I did that in my first Cardio Interval class. Then I pushed it even further and broke that record and ran on the treadmill @ 5.7 for a minute. Then in my second class I decided to push it even further and I did 5.9 for a minute. It felt so good. Teri and I trained today again. She's pushing me harder and harder every training session. I can tell I'm getting stronger and more fit because even though it is tough and hard, I can do it. Teri is off tomorrow so we aren't training, but back at it on Thursday. Feeling so great. Hopefully tomorrow is even better.

Finally Weighing In

Wow!!!! What a weekend. Didn't do much but yesterday I weighed in and got measured. In 7 weeks I have lost 19 pounds and 21.25 inches. Out of those 21.25 inches 9.75 inches were from my chest. Unbelievable. I was completely blown away. I still am. Today was an awesome day. I got up this morning and went down to the gym and worked out for an hour before breakfast. After breakfast I went back to the gym and did another 1hr workout. I think I might be coming down with something. Met with Teri today. We are going to do training everyday this week except Wednesday because I'm leaving on Sunday. AWESOME workout. It's always challenging, but it is getting easier to do it too. I am really going to miss it here and miss the staff when I go home. Especially Teri. She has changed my life. I am totally and completely grateful to her for what she has done. I got really light headed and nauseous. I think that my blood pressure dropped really low. I had Teri take my blood pressure this afternoon and it errored out. Never could get it to work. It was funny.

What Do You Do When You Can't Sleep

Woke up @ 3:30 this morning & couldn't get back to sleep. So many thoughts & emotions going through my head. This last week has been a tough week. I have been under the weather. Here is a note that I posted a few minutes ago on my Facebook profile. Hopefully this will give a glimpse of how I'm feeling right now. Monday starts my last week here at the BLR Resort in Malibu for two weeks. I am anxious to come home and see all my family and friends.....especially my animals. Boy have I missed them. But on the other hand I am terrified to come home. So many emotions so many feelings....I can't believe my journey is almost half way over. I am so grateful for this opportunity and it's exceeded my expectations beyond my wildest dreams. I am so very blessed. I have learned so much not only about myself, but about living a healthy lifestyle. I know I can do this. Goal for my last week here: Run on the treadmill @ 5.5 for 1 minute. Doesn't sound like much but I have never done it. Small goals right??? Love and miss you all. See you when I get home. My last week here is going to be an AWESOME week. Am anxious to see what God has in store for me.

Obstacles getting in the Way

Sorry everyone for missing the last 2 days. I was sick in bed and didn't feel very good. Still didn't feel 100% today but got up and went & had breakfast and then went to the gym and worked out for about 45 minutes. I had treading today @ 2:30 and I ran on the treadmill @ 5.1 for a minute and 5.3 for 30 seconds. So excited. After treading I had ball works and ended up twisting my left ankle in the middle of class. Argh. Why me? Next week is my last week here before I come home for 2 weeks. Excited to push myself hard next week. Teri has been gone this week so I only met with her on Monday. Training with her times next week. Going to be interesting. Saw my chiropractor tonight and he suggested to me to take it easy when I am home for the two weeks. Give my body a chance to repair itself before I come back here and hit it hard again for the next 8 weeks. I don't know how I feel about that. On one hand I can see what he is talking about but on the other hand I don't want to lose momentum. I know just taking the last 2 days off, I had a really hard time getting myself motivated today to exercise. We shall see. Glad tomorrow is Friday. This week has gone by so slow. Only 1 1/2 days until rest. YAY!!!!!

Adjusting The Attitude

Had an AWESOME Monday. Got up early today and went and worked out for 45 minutes. As you could tell last week was not my finest week. My attitude was not the greatest. I realized that I can make what happens in my life a negative or a positive. Yes last week was a difficult one and one I don't want to repeat any time soon, but I could have handled it a whole lot better. I was having my quiet time this morning and reflecting on the past weeks. When I first got here I was so positive and upbeat. I realized I miss that. I had a "Come to Jesus" moment this morning and realized I need to adjust my attitude. I can choose to let my situations and my circumstances dictate my attitude or I can choose to push through them and come out stronger on the other side. So my goal this week is going to be to have an AWESOME week. I had an AMAZING personal training session with Teri today. I can really tell I'm getting stronger and more fit. This week is going to be a long week because she is leaving tomorrow to go out of town for the week. She won't be back until Sunday. But I'm choosing to make the best of the situation and push through. I am totally sore and exhausted from today. Good night all.

What Is Going On With My Dog?

10 years ago tomorrow our country was drastically changed forever. Thousands of people sacrificed their lives for our freedom. People we knew only casually, loved ones and complete strangers were willing to die for us. 9/11/01 will forever be etched in our minds. Let's remember those that we have lost by praying that God would protect us and show us how we can sacrifice and pay it forward. Pray for our country as a whole. Pray for our President and senators. With that all said today was a really tough day. Last night I got a text from my best friend who is taking care of my dog Quila. She has been getting out of the yard and taking off so I purchased an invisible fence for my friend and she got it all set up and everything. Quila didn't care. She continually ran through the fence and got shocked. When it shocked her she would freak out. Well, Shelia's, (my best friend) ex son in law bent down to pick Quila up to save her from being shocked and Quila turned around and bit him in the arm really bad. I freaked. This is the second time she has bitten someone since I have been gone. She has never bitten anyone in her life until now. I don't know why she is acting this way other than she has never been away from me for this long before. She must think I have abandoned her. She is not use to kids or a lot of people around her at once. Which Shelia has both. I feel so guilty leaving her. I miss her so much. Jessie is ok, but I feel horrible. My mom informed me that if he goes to the dr. they are required to report it to the Animal Shelter. If that happens they probably would declare her a vicious and dangerous dog and put her down. If that happens I would lose it. She is my life. I have had her since she was 9 weeks old and she will be 11 in November. I am so glad that this week is over. I have been going crazy this last week. Have really wanted to pack up and come home. The staff has been great though. Very supportive and encouraging. Well, tomorrow is a new day. Plan on getting caught up on a book one of the staff gave me to read, getting stuff ready to ship home and relaxing. Yeah.... Relaxing..... What a concept.....

Friday, September 9, 2011

I am physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted today. I have 3 more weeks until I go home for two weeks. I truly love it here but I am tired and want to quit so bad. I have accomplished so much and have learned so much while being here. I just need a break. I am really looking forward to this weekend and to be able to just veg. I could tell today that I was physically, mentally and emotionally done. I didn't really push myself today except when I met with Teri for our personal training session. You don't have a choice but to give it your all. I rode Jacobs Ladder for 4 minutes today. Progress. I got a text from my best friend Shelia tonight who is taking care of Quila my dog for me while I am here. Quila has been crawling under the fence and getting out so I bought an invisible fence for Shelia to try to deter Quila from crawling under the fence. Shelia's ex son-in-law set it all up and pu the collar on Quila. Quila could care less about the fence. She would just go through the fence and when she got shocked, she would freak out. Well, tonight Jesse reached down and tried to grab Quila to protect her from the fence and Quila bit him in the arm really bad. I freaked out. This is the second time since I left that she has bit someone. I don't know what is going on with her. I know she's probably stressing out and wondering where the heck I am at and feeling like I abandoned her. So this just added to the already emotions and stress that I had been dealing with today. I don't know what's going to happen, but I am so worried that something bad will come of this. Hopefully tomorrow will be a new day.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Well, today was a really interesting day. I was really exhausted this morning so I slept in until about 6:15 am. Didn't go to the gym this morning and workout before breakfast. My knee and feet were still sore from yesterday's hike so I decided to not go on the hike this morning. I have been having some issues with a guest here the past few weeks and finally I sat down with the Property Mgr, Craig yesterday and had a long talk with him regarding this person. It amazes me how some people can have no regard for other people or their feelings or their boundaries. It's a really longs story & I'm not going to get into all the details, but let's just say he's rude, condescending, self centered and doesn't care about anyone except his self. So anyway, this morning Craig came up to me and said that he talked to this person and he was very apologetic and said that he would try to work on things. Well, I was up at the gym working out and here come this person. He's very loud and disruptive. I was riding the recumbent bike and he came and got on one right by me. He started trying to talk to me but I just ignored him. All of a sudden in the corner of my eye I see him waving his arms at me trying to get my attention. Again I just ignored him. I finished up my workout on the bike and went to the back of the gym where I started having a conversation with a staff member. She and I were having a conversation and this person came up to us, got in my face and yelled "Hello" in my face. Freaked me out. I turned around and said "Please don't do that again". He went passed me over to the roll machine and started laughing. I was pissed. Like I said before, it just amazes me how people can be so rude and disrespectful. I went and talked to the Program Mgr, Micaela about it. Other than that I had a great day. Classes went great and I am exhausted.

On a more somber note. I have been meaning to say this but have forgotten to mention it. I have a prayer request. Last Saturday night one of our trainers Sam was involved in a very serious accident by falling off of a roof. He is in ICU right now. Sam was on the Biggest Loser Show in Season 9. He is an amazing young man and is greatly missed here at the ranch. I don't have a lot of details other than he is conscious and is moving his fingers and toes. Would you please remember to say a prayer for him and his family. We want him back.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Woke up early again and went and worked out in the gym for 30 minutes before breakfast. I decided to go on the hike today. My group went to the beach and walked along the boardwalk. Very beautiful. It was a pretty easy hike other than it was all on pavement and by the time we got back to the van my knee and my feet were killing me. We got back to the van a little early so a few of us took our shoes off and walked down to the beach and played in the water for a little bit. Boy was it cold. My friend Carola decided that she was going to try to stand while the ocean waves came up on the beach. Needless to say, the under toe threw her to her knees. She had a blast though. It was hilarious to watch. Have been feeling really nauseous and my stomach has been really hurting the last couple of days. Don't know why. Haven't been able to eat very much. Met with Teri today for our personal session. She kicked my but. Did a lot of lower body stuff today. She really knows how to push me. She has been the one constant person that has encouraged me and stuck by me when I haven't believed in myself or I have wanted to give up. She had me do a sprint on the treadmill today for a minute at 5.1. Fastest speed I have ever done. It was awesome. I rode Jacobs Ladder today. Teri lied to me and said she wanted me to do it for 2 minutes but I actually did it for 3 minutes. By the end of the day, I was really sore. Tomorrow is a new day.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Got up again at 4:30 this morning and hit the gym for 30 minutes. When I woke up this morning I was really nauseous and my stomach was really upset. So after my workout I went back to my room and laid down for a little bit. It was like my body was saying "nope not going to do it today". I ended up sleeping until 11:00. I then got up and started my day. Had an awesome day after that. It's weird how your body responds to this kind of regimen. I don't think that my body believes yet that this is going to be the "normal" way of living now. I am feeling really great. I feel stronger, more confident, etc. My knee is still giving me fits, but it also is getting better. I am loving this new way of living. I am so grateful for everything that I have been given, especially this gift. I'm actually starting to really get excited to go home in two weeks. Yes, I'm still terrified, but I am also excited to "test the waters" so to speak and to put into practice what I have learned. I miss my family and friends & my animals so much and am very excited to see all of them. Over all today was a great day.

Monday, Septemeber 5, 2011

Today was an awesome day. Today is my birthday. I got up at 4:30 this morning and went to the gym and worked out for 30 minutes before breakfast. I hit a milestone this morning. I ran on the treadmill for 3 minutes twice. That doesn't seem like a big feet, but for me it was. I haven't ran in like 20 + years. It feels so good to be able to do that. At breakfast, everyone sang happy birthday to me and embarrassed the crap out of me. After breakfast I headed for the gym and worked out for about 30 minutes and then I went for a walk around the property. I ended up missing the last 3 classes because I had a phone conversation with a dear dear friend of mine, Sandra Norton. We ended up talking for almost 2 hours. She is so full of wisdom and grace. Always tells me like it is and is so honest with me. I can always count on her being real with me. I appreciate that so much in her. We had a really good conversation and I was able to share my heart with her. At the end of the day, I jumped in the shower and got ready and two of my dear friends and I went to dinner for my birthday. It was absolutely delicious and healthy. I was so proud of myself because I passed on the free piece of chocolate birthday cake that they offered. Wished I was home celebrating with my family, but I can't complain. I'm feeling so blessed right now. Looking forward to hitting it hard tomorrow.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Today was a really great day. Got up this morning and went to breakfast. After breakfast went to Cardio Blast. Worked out for 45 minutes in the gym and then went over to the aerobics room and did some strength and endurance exercises with Kareen. After that I had Cardio Circuit. Rode Jacobs Ladder again today. I am determined to concur that machine. I had a massage today. I have this one pair of shorts I brought with me that when I first got here fit me but were a little tight. Last week when I wore them they were getting looser. Well I was walking up the stairs to go to my massage and my shorts almost fell off of me. Would not have been a pretty site. But it made me feel so good. Just goes to show that this program does work if you work it. So thankful for this opportunity. Looking forward to the upcoming week.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Today was an awesome day. I got up this morning a little late because I woke up at 3 am and couldn't get back to sleep so I took my time getting up this morning. After breakfast I headed back to my room and called my mom to say hello. Talked to her for a few minutes and then headed down to the gym. I hit the treadmill hard for 30 minutes and then I took a long walk around the property. It felt good to just get out and see God's beautiful creation. After my walk I went back to the gym and did the new step for 10 minutes and then I did some strength training. At lunch time I met with our nutritionist Jessica to start planning meals for when I go home in 3 weeks. She makes things seem so simple. I don't know exactly what I will be doing everyday when I get home, but I'm hoping to keep busy. It's going to seem so weird not having a schedule to follow for two weeks. In the afternoon I did two circuit classes and hit it hard. I also did Jacobs latter again for about 1 1/2 minutes. My last class was the pool. We played volleyball after we did some exercises. It was a lot of fun. Teri and Kareen were dancing around and acting goofy the whole time we were playing volleyball. It was crazy. Overall it felt really good to get back in the swing of things. Just have to make it through tomorrow morning and then it's REST for the rest of the weekend. YAY!!!!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Today was another really tough day for me emotionally. So many thoughts and feelings going through me. I don't know what to think or feel anymore. I stayed in my room all day today except to have a meeting with our Life Coach, Essara. We talked about my trip home in 3 weeks, how I was feeling about that, and strategies to be able to deal with the stress and anxiety that I have been and will feel when I come home. I took today and just rested. My body must have needed it because I was exhausted. Hopefully tomorrow with be a better day and I can "get out of my head" and get back to focusing on losing weight and exercising.